Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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