next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
