what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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