He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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