singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
