You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
