Princesses don't give blow jobs
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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