I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
