Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
