you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
