I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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