This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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