just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
