my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
