i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
