Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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