what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
