Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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