so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
