I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
