sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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