Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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