too bad you live with your parents still
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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