p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
