If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
