I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
