Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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