Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
