Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just cut my nipple shaving
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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