I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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