Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
