Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
