I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
