I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Randomize
