I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
