with your own penis?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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