I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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