I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
