he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
