Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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