So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
