Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
