We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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