i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
