in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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