my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
