Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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