dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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