But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
