Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
