Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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