we're blogging at a bar
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
